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Yours Truly, Wednesday, September 12, 2007, 2:57 AM♥
 my craziness seems to be getting more & more far apart from me. i seems to be hiding my real feeling ,emotion inside my heart. my laughter ;happiness ;craziness seems to be so hard for me now. in my mouth, i might be saying that i dont take relationship seriously but actually i cherish every relationship dhat i have. I DOTES ;PAMPER THEM but it seems to be just a POSITION OF A STEAD WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE DOING.I yet DONT MIND of dher way they TREAT me. i even try to be MORE UNDERSTANDING ;being REASONABLE of why dhey TREAT ME like that. I CONTROL MY TEMPER. I KEEP MY FEELING INSIDE. I WANTED TO CRY IT OUT. I TELL MYSELF NOT TO. I TRYING TO BE STRONG. I KNOW I CAN DO IT. I want yoos to tell me your true words inside your hearts. I dont want to find it out myself. It's damn deeply hurts whenever i find it out of the result is turn to be bad. I want to ask you why yoos dont want to tell me the truth in the first place. Why you want to bluff me.I rather yoos honest with me rather than cheating me. It is much more hurting when i find it out myself. I cry ,i shout .i gone crazy ,i blaming yoos, i blaming myself. Why all the relationships that i have seems to be not the feeling that i want but yet is all hurting me down deep inside my heart. MAYBE ALL THIS ARE FATED. I CANT CHANGE IT.   every nights dhat i spend is just editing photo to kill TIMES instead of STUDYING. I SEEMS TO LOST INTEREST IN STUDY. I LOST MY CONFIDENCE IN STUDIES. I WISH ALL THIS CAN BE OVER FAST. I THINK I CANT PASS MY PAPER. I SEEMS TO FLUNG ALL MY PRELIMS. I KNOW I AM CHANGING FROM GOOD TO BAD. I AM SIMPLY JUST NOT MYSELF. there's someone trying to turn my black & white world to a world dhat is full of colours. the world that i have never enter before. the world is full of romance ;full of rose fragrance smell ; everywhere ; every path i walk seems to have flowers blooming around. should i choose yoos or should i continue my patience of waiting till october. when can my true loves appear?? |
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