It's really damn pain. If can how i wish that i could drink until i am drunk don't know anything at all, Smoke until my lungs turn black, Cut myself till my blood has dried up ,Being brought to a Nether World & have a peaceful death. I feel like doing those but i think of the promises i made to you, maybe you can think that is already over & broken, no longer any promises. But to me, i always kept the promises, stop myself from doing it. I don't know what to do.

I want to cry out, yet no tears coming out.
I want to scream as loud as possible but i am too shy to shout.
I want to punch people, but i don't wan the person ended up so many blueblacks.
I want to have car accident, but i can't bring myself to do it.
I want to jump down from building, but i don't have the guts to do it.
I want to have black out so that i don't have to think of anything, but i don't know how to.

The feeling in it, really make me suffer alot alot alot. I wish i can just concentrate m studies but i just can't do it. The image of you kept on appearing in my mind. The time we were very sweet, the time i really treasure alot. I hate one of it is that you really hurts me damn deep. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DEEP.