It has been a real successful for me to step forward to my future. I'm really very happy about it and hope that it will continue on till my last breathe. However, today i realised that even if i have did it well but it just only a small part of it. There's still a lot of recovery to go through. As i was doing my Maths which were my Best Subject of all other Subject. I was having difficulties in doing it. I have forgotten all the formulae. No matter how hard i tried to crack my brain, is totally useless. I'm still totally stuck in the question that might be so simple.

I asked myself, "Should i remember what i used to have so that i will not have such a bad memories". I closed my eyes, glancing through of all images that appeared in my mind. The horrifying feeling came back ;the pains i used to have inside my heart. It took me so much courages to overcome 3years of Pains. "Am i fated to go back to what i was for the past 3years??" or " I have never worked hard enough??" or "Improving in stepping forward is still not enough, still have lots more for me to improve??" Thousands, Billions, Infinites of ??????????????? all came up to my mind.

At the moments, i felt so lonely as no one seems to can see through that i need help. Why i can see through their moods but no one can see through mine. TOTALLY NONE!! Maybe there is but i don't know. There's none of them who always hang around with me can see through my mood &comfort me. At least, i still can tell myself that i'm still not alone. There is still people concerning you. I'm not saying that i have no friends but no friends that understand me except my Everlasting Sister,Viviann. They sometimes seems to feel irritated by me. If that so, i shall apologise to you all. I'll just sit at my own place & treat it as i am sitting at a corner alone doing my stuffs & let you have a peaceful time.

Some readers might feels some kind of a joke. As my post, sometimes seems to be in a Positive Side but sometimes in a Negative side. Maybe you might think is funny but to me is totally not at all. Everyday, there's some minutes or seconds you would realise something great/bad. There's nothing wrong of being at both sides & it is just meaning that
"My life is just like a rojak, totally in a mess."


p/s: Sometimes we have to let go the past, yet i have failed it at halfway through.