It is the Last day of holiday at June. I really doesn't have any mood to go back to school. Although, i have decided to study hard after June Holiday. So to have a good grades for O level & choose any courses that i like in Polytechnics. & of course, for my future uses. This whole week i have been staying at home played Maple Story, do homework, Sleep, Eat. That's all. I doesn't have any mood to go out shopping or playing, just want to stay at home rest. I shall tell you what happened recently that made my mood damn down.

1.) Recently, i listened what my Mother told me about Father's health. I was so damn worried about him. As a daughter of his, i have never been doing things good to let him proud of me, yet is disappointment. Despite on how many promises that i made to him, i failed to do so. I always forgot his birthday, never celebrate Father's day with him.

I didn't even know his health is getting worst. His stomach has 5holes due to he used to skip meals in the past. That's why I always do encourage people to eat regularly and don't ever just cause of want to have diet, chose not to eat. As i don't really wish anyone in the future would become like my Father. Eat things cannot to be too full, if not will be very uncomfortable. Can't eat a lot of things if not will have diarrhoea. & also the shit that came out cannot be Black for days as it means that there's something wrong in your stomach and can be dead. The feeling is so damn terrible. Everyday have to eat a lot of medicines too. Why must suffered so much when old ages instead of having good life?

Is diet so important or Health is more important?? I don't really understand as maybe i am not a fat person. But eating is a joy of life, isn't it?? Even if want to have diet, you can just eat those healthy foods rather than torturing yourself of not eating anything at all. Please think of your health before you decided to have diet. That's all.

2.) Can i know is it because you are going in, that's why you sent me the message that is seems to be the last message before you went in. & even said a sentence that is so hurtful to me after i replied it. I remembered what you said before. You said that "Don't ever wait for me if i really go in as Girls Youth have limit." And if i am not wrong, you said the hurtful sentence just not want me to wait for you. &I am not so thick skin that keep on say that you still like me but actually i can sense it. Girls' six sense are always very accurate.

This was your Last Message that you sent to me before the day you are going in. "I was sad to give up on you, give up on our love, give up a dream that has been crushed...Although the pain was unbearable but i tolerate it.I thought it was a heaven blessing to us. But you told me to break up. I was sad to forget about you, forget our love, as in the past we had really love each other before... And i was also sad to tell you that once it had been lost, it cant start all over again.. Your Past Love Rayson." After i read it, i really cry out as from the start of the day that i left you, i really very regretted about it.

I tried all my best to take back this relationship but after all, i still failed it. Even if i told the whole world that i have get over you, but actually the real answer is that I have never once get over you. Hope that you will take care of yourself when you are inside. Don't worry, i will take good care of myself and find a better Soul Mate. But hope that we still can contact each other after you come out. I will be looking forward to the day. Your Past Love, Miyuki Ong Shi Yi.

That's all. The end.

Before i end this post, i have found some website that you may can have a look at it. =))