Emotion has been breaking down recently, i really don't know what i really wants. Although I've always said that i wanted to end my life but actually I'll not do it. Cause i always know that there's people who do really concern me and i am very aware of that. But i always treat it as no one concerns me at all. My mind always have the same problems troubling me, i don't know how to say it out or should i say it out. Everyone has problems and i don't wish to say it out and become adding on to their burden that they are having now. If can, i just type it out here so that you can read it and you might know what's going on with me.


My "O" Level is coming nearer and nearer as each days go by, yet I've not do any revision. I know all this can be done if i have the determination to do it. But i don't know why, my hand seems like not wanting to touch any of the books, my brain can't even concentrate at all. I'm really get more and more stress of it. I don't wish to waste one more year of retaking "O" Level, is just a waste of my time. I can just look out for a job and thinking which course should i be at for Polytechnic rather than revising the same thing again for 1more year.


I've always wish to fulfill the things that I've always wanted to do it. But all these can be done after "O" Level. arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I am getting more and more fed up. Everything only can be done after "O" Level. Although "O" Level is consists of my future. But i can't stand it is that "O" Level seems to be stopping me from doing the things that i really want to do it.


I know my health has not been functioning well recently. This few days i really have no much appetite in it, maybe is because too much things to trouble and causes me like that. && My gastric is not i want it to be pain but i really have no appetite. I just ate a few spoons, i already feel like vomiting. Not saying that i am pregnant but is really no appetite. I really don't know why. My life now is like in a hell. I've got to pull through.


The Past that 've been so faithfully to be whenever i go. Maybe people can say that you can just put it aside first and concentrate on what you are suppose to be concentrating on. But what comes out from your mouth is so easy but what people wants to do it is really very difficult. I've always thought that i have already put down. But actually i have not once put down before, just a close of my eyes letting it to be relax, all the mini clips of my past kept on appearing non-stop. Repeating again and again each time but i did not cry at all cause i am already used to it. However, i really hated it so much as why even i close my eyes also want me to suffer all these. Can't i have some Peace at a moment, just a moment only is that so difficult??

've guess only have all these, I can't remember still have what. I thought that there's a person who will support me throughout this path but cause of my stupid words, everything down to the drain. Maybe everything is fated to be like that. I've to walk alone this path so to prevent from hurting anyone who is close with me. But i hope that i can pass through as i don't know whether if i can still hold on. 've to be strong enough to pull through.

Later, got to meet up Darren, his sister and his God-Father watch movie and then slack. =.=||| Supposedly, wanted to after "O" Level then meet him but i don't know how i will go meet up with him later. I think is kana physco by him. That's why. Then later slacking with them at Ang Mo Kio.